Thief of Joy

Ugh.

Another blog post about comparison? Doesn’t anyone have anything else to write about?

I know, I know. Comparison isn’t exactly a forgotten topic. But please, bear with me.

If I can be quite frank, I will tell you that I am walking through a season of deep sadness in my life. Not depression. Circumstances, past and present, seem to have doubled in volume and weight and my shoulders have grown weary of their burden. My anxieties and insecurities are running at an all time high.

I find myself overwhelmed at the thought of overcoming this season of sadness, but I have hope that I am not alone. I have the unconditional love and support of my husband and the Truth to sustain me in the heart of my Jesus.

I do know that this season won’t last forever, but that it is also a process I must walk through to come out stronger, wiser and more capable on the other side.

All of that said, I have been racking my brain for a plan of action during this time in my life. One of my favorite sayings comes to mind.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

I have decided that the first issue I will tackle on this journey is that of, you guessed it, comparison.

As I said before, my strength has been waning. I’m tired and worn. I need strength. I crave it. I think of Nehemiah 8, The joy of the Lord is my strength. And what is comparison?

The thief of joy.

Well good heavens Melissa, it’s no bloody wonder your strength is sapped.

I hate admitting it, but I spend a lot of my time comparing myself to…well, everyone. And I do mean a lot of time.

“My blog doesn’t even come close to hers. Or hers. Or hers.”

“I am a laughable cook compared to Giada and Clotilde.”

“I don’t have a degree or a career. I must be a failure.”

“My face is stupid.” (yes, I think those exact words)

“Everyone in the whole world is skinnier than me.” (the comparisons get more ridiculous and dramatic as I go on)

Nevermind the fact that I’m not looking to launch a world famous blog, or that those women are professional or celebrity chefs. Nevermind the fact that God has called me to something completely outside of the “college and career” world.

The more I compare myself to everyone else, the more I lose sight of who I am.

Unfortunately, this blog post isn’t going to be wrapped up in a neat little life lesson ribbon. I haven’t had this grand epiphany and I didn’t wake up this morning ready to take on the world because I have discovered that I am awesome at being me. I woke up even more weary and discouraged than I was yesterday.

But amidst the tired sadness, a tiny flicker of hope still dances in the fog. I will dismember this season of sadness. Eventually, I will be over this mountain.

So beginning with attacking comparison, my thief of joy, I will eat this elephant. One bite at a time.

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