I woke up from my deliciously indulgent Sunday afternoon nap and slowly blinked, letting my eyes readjust to the sunbeams barreling through the living room window. The cat greeted me with a dainty meow and a hearty yawn before she leapt from her resting place (my backside) onto the floor.
I rubbed my face and lazily rolled onto my stomach in an attempt to coerce myself to get up from the couch. As I rolled, I accidentally pinned the palm of my hand underneath my chest. I noticed my heartbeat.
I was trying to decide what to prepare for dinner when a faint memory flashed across my mind’s eye.
I saw my sweet mom bustling around the kitchen of the house I essentially grew up in, preparing Sunday dinner for us; my father, my three younger siblings and myself. She typically fancied something “fun and easy” for our Sunday night supper. I always appreciated that about her. My mother was a wonderful cook. Everything she fixed was done so with such love and creativity.
Suddenly my memory vanished and I was back on my couch in my living room. I noticed my heartbeat. In that moment, I felt a twinge of anguish.
You see, three years ago, my darling mom went to be with Jesus.
I found myself, in that moment on the couch, wondering how it was even possible that my heart was beating, on it’s own, without hers. Hers was, after all, the heart that caused mine to beat in the first place.
In that brief moment of sadness, I took a deep breath and pressed into the heart of God. I felt that warm Love saturate my soul. I was reminded that while it was my mother who gave me physical life, it is my Heavenly Father who keeps my heart beating.
I carry my mother’s heart in mine now, and I needn’t feel sadness or anguish when my heart longs for hers.
There will be a day, a sweet day, when we will be reunited. But for now, for this day, my heart continues to beat for the purpose it has been given while I remain on this earth.
The purpose to live fully and love unabashedly; the purpose to praise loudly and laugh freely; the purpose to carry on with a joy and strength unimaginable is why my heart continues to beat.