My Not So Brave Heart

Be brave. Be strong. Don’t give up. Expect God to get here soon. –Psalm 31:24 MSG

Well, it’s definitely been far too long since my last blournal post. Almost three weeks, in fact! SO MUCH LIFE has been happening over these last three weeks. If you’ll remember from my previous post, I am no longer at my job, but am now a homemaker as well as building my darling little bakery business from scratch! Quite literally, in fact. Needless to say, life has been ultimately exciting, stressful, scary, confusing, delicious, and hilarious as of late.

You can be sure that God will take care of everything you need, his generosity exceeding even yours in the glory that pours from Jesus. — Phillippians 4:19 MSG

Obviously my going from working to full time to…well…not, has taken a toll on our finances, but it’s also done so much more than that. Understandably, a whirlwind of emotions has swelled up in the McEntyre home over this time of incredible transition. This has been a whole new experience for me! I’m walking through the stress of only having one income now, and while the majority of the effect it’s had has been on how often we eat out now (first world problems, amiright?), it’s still a major adjustment. And when things have been especially tight, this tricky little guilt monster bears it’s foul head. My husband has been nothing short of amazing through the entire process. I have cried a lot over these past three weeks. Shawn has been my rock. He always brings me back down to reality when my emotions spin out of control. He reminds me that God and God alone is our provider. He reminds me that I’m pursuing my dream! How often does your average American twenty something get to quit her day job to pursue her dream? He keeps me anchored in my faith. I thank God every day for my precious husband.

Something else I have really struggled with in the midst of all this change is the feeling of simply not being good enough. I’m not a professional baker (yet). I’m just a gal with a love for sweets, and a penchant for creativity who longs to keep her mother and grandmother’s legacies alive through the kitchen. And when I really think about it, that’s exactly who I want to be. I never want to focus on money, or the lack thereof more than I focus on what an amazing adventure I am so blessed to be a part of! I never want to allow stress to become the foundation of my marriage. I never want to insult my immeasurably generous and faithful God by wallowing in doubt, fear and self deprecation.

You know, even just writing this blournal post today has helped bring things into a right perspective. Thank you for reading, yes, but more importantly thank you for giving me something to write for. I know it’s so easy to get caught up in the emotions of change, especially for women. (I mean, let’s face it ladies, we are typically more emotionally charged than our male counterparts.) But it is SO important that we always revert back to what we know is true. The Lord is our provider. Jehovah Jireh. Our Heavenly Father holds our delicate hearts so gently and so close to His own. Our dreams in our hearts are there because He put them there. We must learn to trust the Lord more than we doubt ourselves. That’s a tough one for me, and somedays it seems near impossible. But it’s the gospel truth. The Lord loves us so desperately and passionately despite our idiosyncrasies (like the fact that I almost set the kitchen on fire because I turned my oven to broil when I meant to turn it off) and we dismiss that love when we live lives of doubt and fear.

“Balance what you fear about yourself with your faith in God.” – Lawrence Scupoli

Let’s help ourselves and those in our lives by shutting our focus off of ourselves and our insecurities, and live lives of boldness, bravery, faith and truth! Things are most certainly wild, crazy, and scary right now, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. This whole journey has taught me to press into my sweet Savior and rely fully on Him. He makes my heart brave.

Yes, I was baking these when the whole broiler fiasco occurred. But they sure are pretty aren’t they?

Coconut Almond Macaroons

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s